Stink Eye

March 5, 2009

 

Eye Dress   7"x7"  Watercolor and micron pen on Hemp paper

Eye Dress 7"x7" Watercolor and micron pen on Hemp paper

 

 

The sky is violet blue and green starts are pushing through the unfrozen soil.  Too soon, too soon… it is  mass plant suicide.

As I mentally prepare for work I am thinking about separation.  Most of the time I feel unified with the rest of the homo-sapiens on the planet.  After all, aren’t we cellularly  the same?  Don’t we all eat, sleep and poop?   I have noticed it is far easier to feel connected in the middle of the woods with only my dogs, cats, and myself.  Sometimes at work my internal peace is challenged.  In those moments I don’t feel connected to the person I am waiting on, I feel like screaming at them or giving them a lecture on how the treat their fellow humans with respect and kindness.  Instead I give them the stink eye. Of course that isn’t very kind on my part.

Why do some people need so much more attention.  If I don’t readily give it to them they seek to force it from me.   Kindergarten should cover self care.  I am not responsible for the happiness of every customer and I don’t understand why people seem to expect me to give them the approval they do not give themselves. 

Regardless, my goal is to realize, even in those moments of extreme frustration, that I am waiting on another version of myself.  The mental trick of feeling disconnected does not help under any circumstances.  When I feel discontent it is a clear indication that I am not caring for myself properly (I am an equal, good  person despite  the demeaning nature of this interaction).  Isn’t life the most fun when I feel good?  YES!

It helps to notice similarities.  After all, we really are so similar that our dissimilarities wouldn’t even register on a human cellular breakdown.  Our brains and hearts are all made out of the same matter

“Wow this person is such an asshole!  Two can play that game!   Oh wait, I notice they have 2 eyes.  I have to eyes too!  and they have a shirt on, I have a shirt on too!  They even have hands, just like me.  Maybe they aren’t so bad after all.”

Go on, try it.  Works every time. 

♥M

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